Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Mail bag....

Dear SoCal girls, 
You are either hot or you are cold.  You can't be both.  Well...not at your age at least.  If you have shorts on do not wear Uggs.  Do not wear a flimsy cami with a scarf either.  It's stupid and so are you. 

Love, 
Captain of the "Oh Hex no she isn't not wearing that" Task Force

Dear college soccer/football/track athletes, 
Yes I do clean my pool myself on the daily.  Yes it is a coincidence that it is always when you are out on the field working out.  Mind your own... and take off your shirts once in a while....I'd hate for you to have heat stroke.

Love,
Cougar in training

Dear Pool man, 
Can you be a dear and park a few houses up from mine so that people don't realize that I have no reason to be in my backyard "cleaning my pool"?  Thanks love! 

Love,
Cougar in Training, again

Dear Jr. High/High School kids that hang out by MY Subway, 
I'm sorry that you are rude and horribly disrespectful.  It's too bad you had to learn the hard way not to mess with me or my Mama.  The point is you learned something.  I straight checked your punk a$$! If it happens again I won't be as nice.
Love, 
The Regulator


Dear Earth,
I get it...we pissed you off.  Your point has been made, enough is enough.  Please stop shaking.

Love,
Seasick on solid ground


Dear safety patrol punks,
I see you daily on the corner...you must get it from your mama.  Yeah that was mean....doesn't feel to good does it?  My son likes to run.  So once he crosses the street I let him run from the corner to our house.  Is it really that funny?  He may win a gold medal one day....you will be obese and miserable on your couch.  Be mean to my boy one more time and you will suffer the wrath. 

Love,
A VERY protective Mama bear


Dear all my old safety patrol buddies,
The put down in the letter above does not apply to us.  Just to punk brats who are super mean to adorable 1st graders.

Love,
1992 Captain of the Safety Patrol


Dear Lovely Blog Readers,
I'm sorry I suck at blogging and commenting.  Who knew that I'd be even more busy now that I don't have a 9-5?  Sometimes I miss my government job that allowed me 5 hours of my day to blog surf, facebook stalk and play farmville.  I will do my best to get around to commenting at least once a week. Deal?

Love,
Busier than a one armed....



Dear Glee,
I've waited for you for so long...please don't disappoint! That is all. 

Love,
Future Mrs. Shu II
 

10 comments:

  1. Dear Alice,

    Your comment on SoCal girls sums up my thoughts entirely. I'd also like it if 50 year old women wouldn't wear Ed Hardy.. but that's just me. Can't WAIT for Glee!!

    Love,
    A Bloggy ibff.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You crack me up! Don't worry about the bloggy stuff... I think the whole blog world is a little slow right now. Spring fever, maybe?

    ReplyDelete
  3. You crack me up!! "Cougar in Training"...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear Cougar in Training,

    Welcome to the club. You are so dedicated to that pool. I wish I had a pool to pretend to clean.

    Love,
    Cougar in Training (East Coast Chapter)

    ReplyDelete
  5. LOVED IT!! just made my day!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you for the laugh to start my day.

    And I want to hear more about the Subway/punka$$ teens incident. Please elaborate because, admittedly, I hate pre-teens/teenagers. They bug me to no end. I don't even like looking at them. I pray this passes by the time my little one is of that age. I would hate to hate her. bwahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dear Alice,

    I miss you. I love you. & can we share Schu? Please?

    Love,

    The girl who longs to be your neighbor.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I don't think we were that annoying at that age..do you??? CRAP!!! SO this is what OLD feels like...well I like it, much WISER now haha!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love this!!!!!

    I am going private on my blog! So if you want to keep reading send me your email.... sphjenny@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. Um, I hope you don't judge me because I wear flip flops no matter what the weather is. Pouring rain today? Yeah, I ran to the mexican food shop in jeans and flip flops. What?? My feet air dry faster that way.

    Love the rest! Miss you friend!! Can we please get together sometime? I am missing you big time at HTC.

    ReplyDelete

I LOVE reading your thoughts!! :)