WTF Wednesday - Epic post today - it's sooo long.......((that's what she said!!!!!))

Good Morning! It's me, Heather!

Okay, gather ‘round boys and girls – today’s WTF topic is Concert Etiquette. This past Sunday, my ever-faithful concert buddy (that’s you, Rachel!) and I went to go see The Avett Brothers at the Belly Up Tavern in Solana Beach. Aside from the truly heinous sounds coming from the opening band’s lead singer, it was a great show with lots of energy and good music. Which is why we go to concerts, right? I’m not sure about the rest of you, but I go to listen to the music that I enjoy, usually with others with similar musical tastes. But, maybe this is just me. I’ve been to a lot of concerts….A LOT, and I’m constantly surprised by how clueless people can be when it comes to going to a concert. So, I’ve picked out some concert-attending tips that I’d like to share with you :

CONCERT ATTIRE – this depends upon the venue and social situation. If this is a date at a nice venue with seats – feel free to dress up in your skimpiest outfits and highest heels. However, if the show is being held at a venue like the Belly Up, House of Blues, or anyplace where you stand around the whole time (i.e. festivals, floor tix at a rock concert, etc.), I highly recommend comfort:

DO (comfy all evening):

DON'T (dude....you could poke someone's eye out!!):

Comfortable shoes – sneakers recommended. WARNING: wear flip-flops at your own risk. While they are comfortable, you also risk your toes being stepped on or stepping in wet puddles of an unknown substance. Not cool.

Comfortable clothes – jeans and the top of your choice recommended. Remember, you need to be able to maneuver through sweaty crowds like a ninja and keep warm/cool depending on the environment. Unless it is snowing or raining outside, I do not recommend bringing a sweatshirt or jacket into a venue. More useless stuff to carry.

No purses, ladies – this is why I recommend jeans, preferably with many pockets. I like the hair band wrapped around my ID, bank/credit cards, cash and insurance cards (just in case!) in my pocket. Other pockets should contain lip balm, back-up hair ties (a good friend always has one ready), a camera (if allowed), your cell phone and keys.

Now that we have attire out of the way, here are the DO’s and DON’Ts for appropriate social behavior:

Boobs. Looking at the picture above reminds me of this little pet peeve. If I want to feel some boobs, I’ve got my own. I do not need to feel yours pressing into my back, arm, shoulder, or anywhere else. Just because you’re so drunk you don’t know (or care) who’s in front of you doesn’t mean I want to be violated like that. Just sayin’.

o DO keep your chest to yourself or your SigOther. DO NOT rub up on poor, unsuspecting souls in front of you.
o **Enforcement of this rule is optional for male attendees

Tall people. Those of you blessed with the gift of height, please understand that you are not transparent and when you plant your shoulder blades in front of my face I cannot, in fact, see the stage through you.

o DO be aware of your surroundings; DO NOT purposely stand in front of someone a foot shorter than you just to be a dick.

Tall person view:

Short person (aka “poor schmuck”) view:

Singing along and Song Requests. Everyone has a favorite song they want to hear. If you’re lucky, yours is on the band’s pre-determined set list that they came up with prior to the show. Drunkenly screaming out your request is not going to make you any friends, nor will it get your song played. Also, if you’re going to sing along……try to be in tune, just a little. I did not pay to hear you screech along, two keys flat and off-rhythm.

o DO leave the singing to the professionals; DO NOT confuse a concert with drunken karaoke night.

Talking. Socializing should take place before and after the concert. If you have something to say during the performance, lean in closely to your target and speak directly into their ear. Yelling loudly means you force your conversation on those around you who care nothing about the latest Gossip Girl episode or your recently discovered rash.

o DO listen to the music; DO NOT ruin other people’s experience with your incessant chatter.

Older attendees. I hesitate to say too much about this subject, because I plan on going to concerts well past middle age; however, feeling young at heart doesn’t mean you should dress as young as you feel. Seriously, if you are over the age of 45, halters, minis, tight jeans, or any other skankalicious clothing that your daughter wouldn’t even wear should not be worn in public.

o DO get out and have a good time at any age; DO NOT carry desperation like a banner.
o I hate to say, based on personal observation, that is often the rowdy older crowd that acts the most inappropriately. It's embarrassing, really.

Dancing. To each his own. If it makes you feel good, go ahead and dance your heart out. That said, if you are a drunken, white frat boy, this does not apply. You are not allowed to dance. Ever.

o Repeat: DO get out and have a good time, even if you look the fool; DO NOT truly act the fool.

Oh and one last tip - drink before you go into the venue. It's a lot cheaper!!

So, my lecture comes to an end. I hope this helps you prepare for any future concert-going experiences (say on May 22nd down in CV....) and save you from any potential embarrassment. Please comment and share any other tips I may have missed!